Fantasizing about sex is one thing. Recalling what makes it magical is another.

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Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Like burning through your queue and recommendations on Netflix, uninterested in watching something you’ve seen before, I’m getting bored with my memories of sex.

Which is too bad, because minus a few I’d rather forget but can’t, I’m grateful for the video images on replay in my mind: picturing different women in different settings (and different positions) at different times of my life.

A lot of these memories remain hot to me.

Walking back together from a neighborhood party after ogling her for hours, standing, then more, behind her against a wall as soon as we locked the door.

The…


Since antisemitism is rooted in ignorance and bigotry, one specious claim is no more crazy than the one before it.

Starry night over rock formation
Starry night over rock formation
Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

An elected official in the United States, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, shared a Facebook book post a few years ago (now deleted) claiming Jews were responsible for a deadly California wildlfire through use of a solar beam from outer space.

Far from being castigated, she instead was given a seat on the House Education and Labor Committee. As of this writing, she may or may not hold on to that assignment.

Greene has also espoused conspiracy theories about the Parkland…


It’s tempting, because it’s easier, to resolve a fight with calls for coming together. But a desire for healing is not enough.

Prism
Prism
Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash

To stay together over the long haul, couples must learn how to fight. How to argue, how to air grievances, how to repair and come back together.

The first step is to stop and listen to the other person — and have them explain their perspective. What just happened, in their eyes. Literally, what did they hear, what did they do, what did their partner say, what did their partner do.

Then the other person speaks.

And it’s…


Writers face a critical decision for the setting of new fiction. Will their stories take place before, after or during the pandemic?

Sunrise or sunset?
Sunrise or sunset?
Photo by Federico Respini on Unsplash

I’m writing a short story about a man driving alone halfway away across the country; he’s moving to a new city, on his way to his wife and child who are waiting for him. He pulls off the highway to stop for gas, and decides to fill up at a station a bit further down the road, one that looks smaller and more quaint than your typical Shell or Exxon. He winds up making friends with the elderly station owner. They shake hands, even. Twice.

As I was re-reading and editing, I realized that this story, first started last year…


While we long for the past, we need to be creative, bold and empathetic about the future.

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Photo from Shutterstock

Christmas morning, 2019. I sit on my friend’s couch and stare out the window.

The fireplace is on, the tree is lit, Christmas music is playing, we’re on our second pot of coffee, and outside the sky is grey and tree limbs are bare.

No cars drive by, no one is out walking, the street is quiet, and outside all seems still, a serenity deeper than early Sunday mornings settles upon houses and lawns.

As someone relatively new to looking at Christmas as…


Trust your values, even if they aren’t traditionally masculine. Act in the common good. Take less, and with permission.

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Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash

We can’t save the Earth if half the people on it don’t want to.

Or are unwilling or unable to because they are trapped in mindsets and driven by lifestyles that are unsustainable.

At the risk of a massive generalization, men are the ones standing in the way of a cleaner, healthier planet.

The change required is far deeper than men needing to recognize that climate change exists. Nor is it limited to men taking even the most basic steps in daily life that considers a world — most especially the natural world — beyond and around them.

This not…


First-time sex with someone new is exciting. But how will months of social isolation make this first time different?

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Photo from Shutterstock

The race is still on between the development of a Covid-19 vaccine and me having sex again.

It’s a race that started at pretty much the same time, but work on the vaccine has been going on around the clock, and there’s been much progress.

On my end? Twitter, writing, working, walks around the block and…yeah.

Part of pandemic existence is anxiety over the future, on every front.

And for those who entered and have endured the pandemic single and alone (even if, like me, you just barely made the cut) one of those anxieties is sex.

In a world…


Changing what we value in strength will help us redefine masculinity for the better.

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Photo by Krisjanis Mezulis on Unsplash

One man who rejects wearing a mask looks at another man with no problem wearing a mask and calls the mask-wearer weak. The one without a mask derides how the other looks in one.

By going against advice, science and intelligence, he tries to make himself look tough and strong.

In doing so he puts his health and the health of his family and co-workers at risk.

What kind of strength is one that leads to not being able to protect yourself, your family and others…


Interrupting and talking over others is not just boorish and rude. It’s a means of dis-empowering and silencing.

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Image by Giacomo Zanni from Pixabay

What we witnessed during the vice-presidential debate was a man repeatedly talking over a woman. He would not let her speak. He imposed his words, his presence, over hers.

He was trying to silence and erase her voice, and in doing so, make her presence both mute and moot.

We saw similar behavior at the presidential debate. One man continually would not stop talking and interrupting, trying to drown out the other person’s voice, imposing his presence at all times.

Across social…


In love, deleting your history is far more complicated than clicking a link.

Blank chalkboard
Blank chalkboard
Photo from Shutterstock

Netflix kept crashing on my computer. I thought it was because of my ten-plus-year-old machine.

But then I tried a different browser (from Safari to Chrome) and it worked like a charm. And this MacBook got a new lease.

I had forgotten all you get used to in your normal browser, all the log-ins, and passwords.

I see a promotional “you might like” email from Amazon. They got me, so I add the item (compostable garbage bags) and then see the total cost of my cart at around $96. I’d pay $12 for green garbage bags, but not $96.

So…

Scott Gilman

Thinking and writing about my place in the world, and making myself (and the world) a little bit better.

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