Give Back the Night
Men must get in the fight to end sexual abuse and violence against women.
It’s time for men to give back the night.
As if we could, as if the night is ours at all, much less ours to give. The night belongs to us all, equally, and should be shared and enjoyed by us all, equally, as we choose, safely.
And along with the night so too parks, downtown streets, subways, front yards, the paths from front doors to the street to take out garbage or retrieve mail, restaurants, bars and theaters, any space, all public space.
Like the night, men don’t own the public sphere. It is not ours to give or give back. But it is ours to share.
No longer should men nonchalantly stroll or pace or prowl the parks and streets at night, while women carry fear with every step, with every noise behind them, with whatever potential threat might loom around the corner.
No longer should women, in self-defense, carry their keys in their hands as both a weapon and time-saver to re-enter a cocoon of safety in their car. No longer should women dredge up in their minds images of assault or worse simply by being outside, near or far from their homes. And no longer should we question the accounts of women who describe or report incidents of assault, verbal or physical, nor should we ask what they were wearing or whether they had anything to drink before, after or during said incident. (Looking at you, Minnesota.)
A pipe dream? Only if we don’t believe in it and press for it.
Indeed, this should be a necessary and reasonable standard for the treatment of women in an equitable, respectful world.
Why Is a World Fair to Women So Hard to Imagine?
When, as boys, do we stop valuing the act of sharing?
When, as boys, do we stop respecting the limits and boundaries of the bodies of those around us?
When, as boys, are we taught that we are owed anything, including and especially sex and attention and power, status and wealth?
When, as boys, do we learn to engage in and to accept or look the other way at the mistreatment of women?
