The Hardest — But Most Important — Part of Break-up Recovery
‘Letting go’ is easier said than done, but it’s the only way to truly recover from a break-up, separation or divorce.
In the movie Swingers, Mike (played by Jon Favreau) is consoled by his friend Rob (played by Ron Livingston) about his break-up, and the long path of healing from it.
“It’s like you wake up every day and it hurts a little less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn’t hurt at all. And it’s like, and this might sound a little weird, but it’s like you almost miss that pain.”
The pain one feels after a break-up or separation becomes a companion, wanted or not, a constant presence following you everywhere you go.
That pain occupies the space formerly filled by your ex — and the love you shared.
The pain stands in for an actual person, encompassing every emotion imaginable: sadness, anger, despair, loneliness, hurt, low self-esteem, longing for the past, concern about the future.
While we don’t intentionally choose to hold onto that pain, we kind of do anyway. It’s a way of staying connected to love, to happier times, to something that feels a lot better than pain.
To let go of it would bring on another dimension of loneliness. To let go of it you means you have to fully…
